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Let's
assume you were abducted by aliens. Heck, if you grew up in Arkansas, it probably
happened all the time.
Only
this time, instead of just flying you around and then dumping you back in a peat
bog somewhere, they decided to keep you for their captive human breeding program.
They'd
have to feed you, right? Of course, that might be a problem because, after all,
your usual fare isn't available — there aren't any cows or chickens or fields
of wheat around — you're in space!
So
after studying your physiology, the brainy aliens design a meal replacement —
a food designed to be a compete meal. It has to be pretty much the perfect food
for humans. It contains the most evolved proteins known to science. It contains
nominal but essential amounts of fats (no trans fatty acids, of course).
Beyond
all that, it contains something earth really isn't familiar with: functional carbohydrates
— stuff that sooths and heals your digestive tract, in addition to slowing
absorption and thus ensuring a smooth insulin profile. It even has exotic nutrients
in it to feed the bacteria in your gut that play a part in gut health, not to
mention increasing nitrogen retention.
And,
holy moons of Neptune, it tasted great....
"How
the heck did they do that?" you ask. Well, they're advanced aliens, for Pete's
sake! They can do anything they want! They've got technology we can't even comprehend!
Okay,
forgive my lame science fiction intro, but science fiction is what comes to mind
when I take a look at Biotest's new Metabolic Drive Complete because it almost
seems too good to be true. Comparing this 2006 version of an MRP to the ones that
first started showing up about 16 years ago is like comparing today's cell phones
to their shoebox-sized ancestors that started popping up around the same time.
Many
of you are familiar with Biotest's first MRP, Classic Grow! It was a fine product,
but it was built with yesterday's technology and yesterday's nutritional beliefs.
Metabolic Drive Complete is its high-tech successor.
Let's
look at its profile, working down from the macro to the micro.
Each
serving has 41 grams of protein, consisting of whey-protein concentrate, highly
prized micellar casein, milk-protein concentrate, whey-protein isolate, calcium
caseinate, and whey-protein isolate.
If
you're not familiar with micellar casein, it's the absolute Ferrari of proteins.
It's pure, elegant, highly anabolic, very difficult to make, and generally very
expensive.
Beyond the
micellar casein, the assorted proteins might not mean anything to you, but I do
want to point out one important fact. The aliens...I mean, Tim and I, included
a couple of protein concentrates in the blend for one very important reason: while
isolates are great, they don't possess the valuable immunological fractions that
we, along with a lot of scientists, feel are important to human health.
Believe
me, they are cool and you want them.
Now
let's take a look at our carbohydrate blend. Each serving has an average of 21
grams of carbohydrates (the chocolate flavor and the vanilla flavor have slightly
different amounts), but oh, what carbohydrates they are!
Almost
6 grams consist of rice oligodextrin, which is a very slow-to-burn, low glycemic
index carbohydrate that soothes the gastrointestinal tract and even prevents dehydration.
We literally put as much of this exotic, functional carbohydrate into the formula
as we could afford!
Another
6 grams of carbohydrate comes from a blend of rice bran, barley flour, oat fiber,
Psyllium husk, brown rice flour, apple fiber, inulin, fibersol, and cellulose
gum.
If you're not a fiber
freak, let me tell you that's a great blend of healthy, largely natural soluble
and insoluble fibers.
The
remainder of the carbs consists of milk sugars and gums that ensure cohesiveness
and a smooth mouth feel that's similar to an ice cream milkshake.
As
far as fat, each serving contains 8 grams, consisting of sunflower oil and some
naturally occurring milk fats.
While
that covers the macronutrients, there are a few intangibles that deserve a little
attention. While most people don't think much about the gut, it's crucial to health
and anabolism. After all, how are you going to grow if you have lousy nutrient
absorption?
With that in
mind, we've included a little-known ingredient in Metabolic Drive Complete that's
known as glucono-delta-lactone, or GDL. Japanese health food manufacturers have
long known about how GDL is actually the preferred nutrient for intestinal bacterium,
more so than the fructooligosaccharides that are their natural food stuff. While
Americans rarely use GDL, we've included it in Metabolic Drive Complete.
As
far as the sweetener, we've used a blend of various dextrins (including the rice
ogligodextrin described above) and a small amount of the most evolved sweetener
on the planet, sucralose.
Here's
the Supplement Facts Panel so you can study it for yourself:
You may have noticed that we
didn't include any additional vitamins or minerals other than those that occur
naturally in the ingredients. We feel that America, as a whole, is "over-vitaminized"
(Is that even a word?).
Every
"fortified" food product you can buy on the grocery store shelf contains
pretty much the same, generic vitamin pack produced by the same one or two companies.
Hey, how many thousands of milligrams of molybdenum do we need, anyhow?
Besides,
most of us take multi-vitamins.
So,
rather than perpetuate this vitamin scam, we left 'em out.
One
thing you'll surely notice when you drink Metabolic Drive Complete is the complete
absence of intestinal discomfort. That's right, no bloat and none of what my uncle
used to call "gastriasis," just a pleasant, long-lasting feeling of
being full and satisfied.
Furthermore,
in our trials, we've found that even people who are lactose intolerant handle
Metabolic Drive Complete without problems.
Many
of you might have "gotten away" from drinking meal replacement products.
It's no wonder, given that carbs have gotten such a bad rap in the last couple
of years. However, the truth is, complete meals are necessary if you're a competitive
athlete or you're trying to build your body.
It's
nearly impossible to build a body eating only protein.
While
low-carb foods like Low-Carb Metabolic Drive are valuable as a protein supplement,
bodybuilders and athletes need complete meals, too, especially if they're trying
to add muscle. They need delicious Metabolic Drive Complete.
While
Classic Grow! tasted great, this stuff is even better. When I brought my date
home last night, I even dabbed a bit on both of her ears, allowing me to nibble
blissfully on one ear and my dog on the other.
Let's
see, have I left anything out?
Oh
yeah, the price.
In the
mid-nineties, meal replacement products de-volved. That's right, they went down
in quality. The price of high-quality proteins went up, so manufacturers, for
the most part, started using every protein source just shy of road kill to bolster
the protein content of their products.
Unfortunately,
it continues to this day.
However,
since Biotest avoids middlemen and sells its proteins direct-only, we can make
superior protein blends and keep them in this universe, economically speaking.
I tell you, if Metabolic
Drive Complete were sold in stores, it's exotic proteins and functional carbohydrates
would demand a price of at least 140 dollars.
However,
given our direct-only policy, we can sell you Metabolic Drive Complete for only
$74.95 per tub (when purchasing 2 or more).
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