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Let's assume
you were abducted by aliens. Heck, if you grew up in Arkansas,
it probably happened all the time.
Only this time,
instead of just flying you around and then dumping you back
in a peat bog somewhere, they decided to keep you for their
captive human breeding program.
They'd have to
feed you, right? Of course, that might be a problem because,
after all, your usual fare isn't available — there
aren't any cows or chickens or fields of wheat around —
you're in space!
So after studying
your physiology, the brainy aliens design a meal replacement
— a food designed to be a compete meal. It has to be
pretty much the perfect food for humans. It contains the
most evolved proteins known to science. It contains nominal
but essential amounts of fats (no trans fatty acids, of
course).
Beyond all that,
it contains something earth really isn't familiar with:
functional carbohydrates — stuff that sooths and heals
your digestive tract, in addition to slowing absorption
and thus ensuring a smooth insulin profile. It even has
exotic nutrients in it to feed the bacteria in your gut
that play a part in gut health, not to mention increasing
nitrogen retention.
And, holy moons
of Neptune, it tasted great....
"How the
heck did they do that?" you ask. Well, they're advanced
aliens, for Pete's sake! They can do anything they want!
They've got technology we can't even comprehend!
Okay, forgive
my lame science fiction intro, but science fiction is what
comes to mind when I take a look at Biotest's new Metabolic
Drive Complete because it almost seems too good to be true.
Comparing this 2006 version of an MRP to the ones that first
started showing up about 16 years ago is like comparing
today's cell phones to their shoebox-sized ancestors that
started popping up around the same time.
Many of you are
familiar with Biotest's first MRP, Classic Grow! It was
a fine product, but it was built with yesterday's technology
and yesterday's nutritional beliefs. Metabolic Drive Complete
is its high-tech successor.
Let's look at
its profile, working down from the macro to the micro.
Each serving
has 41 grams of protein, consisting of whey-protein concentrate,
highly prized micellar casein, milk-protein concentrate,
whey-protein isolate, calcium caseinate, and whey-protein
isolate.
If you're not
familiar with micellar casein, it's the absolute Ferrari
of proteins. It's pure, elegant, highly anabolic, very difficult
to make, and generally very expensive.
Beyond the micellar
casein, the assorted proteins might not mean anything to
you, but I do want to point out one important fact. The
aliens...I mean, Tim and I, included a couple of protein
concentrates in the blend for one very important reason:
while isolates are great, they don't possess the valuable
immunological fractions that we, along with a lot of scientists,
feel are important to human health.
Believe me, they
are cool and you want them.
Now let's take
a look at our carbohydrate blend. Each serving has an average
of 21 grams of carbohydrates (the chocolate flavor and the
vanilla flavor have slightly different amounts), but oh,
what carbohydrates they are!
Almost 6 grams
consist of rice oligodextrin, which is a very slow-to-burn,
low glycemic index carbohydrate that soothes the gastrointestinal
tract and even prevents dehydration. We literally put as
much of this exotic, functional carbohydrate into the formula
as we could afford!
Another 6 grams
of carbohydrate comes from a blend of rice bran, barley
flour, oat fiber, Psyllium husk, brown rice flour, apple
fiber, inulin, fibersol, and cellulose gum.
If you're not
a fiber freak, let me tell you that's a great blend of healthy,
largely natural soluble and insoluble fibers.
The remainder
of the carbs consists of milk sugars and gums that ensure
cohesiveness and a smooth mouth feel that's similar to an
ice cream milkshake.
As far as fat,
each serving contains 8 grams, consisting of sunflower oil
and some naturally occurring milk fats.
While that covers
the macronutrients, there are a few intangibles that deserve
a little attention. While most people don't think much about
the gut, it's crucial to health and anabolism. After all,
how are you going to grow if you have lousy nutrient absorption?
With that in
mind, we've included a little-known ingredient in Metabolic
Drive Complete that's known as glucono-delta-lactone, or
GDL. Japanese health food manufacturers have long known
about how GDL is actually the preferred nutrient for intestinal
bacterium, more so than the fructooligosaccharides that
are their natural food stuff. While Americans rarely use
GDL, we've included it in Metabolic Drive Complete.
As far as the
sweetener, we've used a blend of various dextrins (including
the rice ogligodextrin described above) and a small amount
of the most evolved sweetener on the planet, sucralose.
Here's the Supplement
Facts Panel so you can study it for yourself:
You may have
noticed that we didn't include any additional vitamins or
minerals other than those that occur naturally in the ingredients.
We feel that America, as a whole, is "over-vitaminized"
(Is that even a word?).
Every "fortified"
food product you can buy on the grocery store shelf contains
pretty much the same, generic vitamin pack produced by the
same one or two companies. Hey, how many thousands of milligrams
of molybdenum do we need, anyhow?
Besides, most
of us take multi-vitamins.
So, rather than
perpetuate this vitamin scam, we left 'em out.
One thing you'll
surely notice when you drink Metabolic Drive Complete is
the complete absence of intestinal discomfort. That's right,
no bloat and none of what my uncle used to call "gastriasis,"
just a pleasant, long-lasting feeling of being full and
satisfied.
Furthermore,
in our trials, we've found that even people who are lactose
intolerant handle Metabolic Drive Complete without problems.
Many of you might
have "gotten away" from drinking meal replacement
products. It's no wonder, given that carbs have gotten such
a bad rap in the last couple of years. However, the truth
is, complete meals are necessary if you're a competitive
athlete or you're trying to build your body.
It's nearly impossible
to build a body eating only protein.
While low-carb
foods like Low-Carb Metabolic Drive are valuable as a protein
supplement, bodybuilders and athletes need complete meals,
too, especially if they're trying to add muscle. They need
delicious Metabolic Drive Complete.
While Classic
Grow! tasted great, this stuff is even better. When I brought
my date home last night, I even dabbed a bit on both of
her ears, allowing me to nibble blissfully on one ear and
my dog on the other.
Let's see, have
I left anything out?
Oh yeah, the
price.
In the mid-nineties,
meal replacement products de-volved. That's right, they
went down in quality. The price of high-quality proteins
went up, so manufacturers, for the most part, started using
every protein source just shy of road kill to bolster the
protein content of their products.
Unfortunately,
it continues to this day.
However, since
Biotest avoids middlemen and sells its proteins direct-only,
we can make superior protein blends and keep them in this
universe, economically speaking.
I tell you, if
Metabolic Drive Complete were sold in stores, it's exotic
proteins and functional carbohydrates would demand a price
of at least 140 dollars.
However, given
our direct-only policy, we can sell you Metabolic Drive
Complete for only $94.95 per tub.
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